A few years ago, I was struggling through some very stubborn baby blues. My twins were about 6 months old and twins are HARD. On top of my little guys, I still had to juggle a 2 year old, 4 year old, and 9 year old. Did you just count? That’s 5 kids. And I was drowning. But who wouldn’t be? It was so much work, and it was what I was “supposed to be doing”. Right? Why wasn’t I perfectly happy? In the process of raising all of my beautifully smooshy-faced children, I completely lost myself. I lost myself in caring for my children.
There came a point when the babies were almost a year old when I finally decided I had to take back my life. I had to get back to the things that brought me joy or I was going to be miserable forever. I forced my kids to get comfortable at the gym. I took care of some tiny little medical needs I had been ignoring. I hired a coach to do a simple macro calculation for me. I finally found a babysitter I could trust for an hour or two. Little steps. All of these things combined in just the right way and I finally snuck off to a class at my favorite local yoga studio after a long absence. It reignited my love for yoga and how much I missed it.
I should have been working yoga into my life the minute the babies were born. Every time I left yoga I felt a lightness of mind, body, and spirit. It took some work to figure out how to re-incorporate yoga back into a life with 5 young (and demanding) children. Before, my practice had always been formal: in a studio, for a full 60 (or 75!) minute practice. My perspective and planning had to change. I started to to squeeze in a mini practice here or there, practice at home in my garage, try new online offerings, and learn how to build my own yoga practice without the guidance of a teacher. Eventually, with the support of an amazing husband and family, I completed my own 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training.
The-virus-that-must-not-be-named really grasped its claws into my back and required that I retreat back into family focus in 2020. I felt sad to have to set aside my Yoga Shanna content for a while, but it was the right thing to do for my family.
In mid 2021, we made a big decision to move our family from the California Bay Area up to the Sacramento area. My husband's job no longer required his frequent visits to San Francisco, and as our children grew, we needed more space! It was a scary decision to uproot our kids from their teams and schools, but it was definitely the right decision. We've been up near Sacramento for about 18 months now and we simply love it. Our kids settled in so beautifully. They are happy and thriving, so now it's my turn to focus more on me and find my own way to thrive.
I spent the first year in our new city diving very deep into my personal yoga practice. There are a few studios in our new area with incredible teachers. I have felt myself pushed and guided and led through my yoga journey. As a result of consistent, heavy yoga attendance, my yoga practice has blossomed in amazing ways and I feel so grateful. Yoga gives me a place on my mat to be separate from the stuff going on around me all day. I get to be still, quiet, and push myself in the best possible way. Yoga is truly a way that i feel most connected to myself.
In 2022 I felt the itch to get back into teaching, so I completed a Yoga Teacher Mastermind program with a friend and mentor, Diana Vitantonio. She's given me great guidance and pushed me to be a better teacher. It is with this newfound gusto, confidence, and willingness to step into the discomfort that I find myself teaching in-studio again. I am also growing my virtual Instagram audience, and preparing to launch a new Arm Balance Exploration workbook. It will be ready for you around February 2023.
